Rock Bottom

• “People’s Choice Award” is America’s greatest honor.
• Styrofoam is not made from kittens. 
• The U.F.O was a paper plate. 
• The nerds on the internet are not geeks. 
• The word “cheese” is not funny in and of itself. 
• The older Flanders boy is Todd, not Rod. 
• Lyndon Johnson did not provide the voice of Yosemite Sam. 
• If you are reading this you have no life. 
• Roy Rogers was not buried inside his horse. 
• The other U.F.O was an upside down salad spinner. 
• Our universities are not hotbeds of anything. 
• Mr. Dershowitz did not literally have four eyes. 
• Our viewers are not pathetic, sexless food tubes. 
• Audrey Hepburn never weighed 400 pounds. 
• The “Cheers” gang is not a real gang. 
• Salt water does not “chase the thirsties away”. 
• Licking an electrical outlet will not turn you into a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger. 
• Cats do not eventually turn into dogs. 
• Bullets do not bounce off of fat guys. 
• Recycling does not deplete the ozone. 
• Everything is 10% fruit juice. 
• The flesh eating virus does not hide in ice cream. 
• Janet Reno is evil. 
• V8 juice is not 1/8 gasoline. 
• Ted Koppel is a robot. 
• Women aren’t from Venus and men aren’t from Mars. 
• Fleiss does floss. 
• Quayle is familiar with common bathroom procedures. 
• Bart is bad to the bone. 
• Godfry Jones’ wife is cheating on him. 
• The Beatles haven’t reunited to enter kick boxing competitions. 
• The “Bug” on your tv screen can see into your home. 
• Everyone on tv is better than you. 
• The people who are writing this have no life.

 Via