Thursday, December 07, 2006

We're a funny bunch.

I have been thinking about nicknames recently. I don't know if it is an Aussie thing, or just a Lydia thing, but I have been thinking about pets and how we do not just give them names, but inevitably they get nicknames as well.

Now I know I have more pets than the rest of Melbourne put together, but let's just take a look at some of the names and nicknames in my house...

Cara - Full name Caramia, as in what Gomez calls Morticia. Registered name: Yotclub Calamity. Nicknames: Cuzz, Curraburra, Carbar, Carbunkle, Burra, Buzz, Houdini, Fuckhead.

Womble - Full name: Persephone Jane. Registered Name: Yotclub Cici
Nicknames: Womble (after I decided she looked like a womble), Womblina, Blina, Wom, Bleen.

Cordelia - Registered Name: Calpurnia Cordelia
Nicknames - Cordy, Deely, Fucking Cordelia, Bastard Face (the last two are often used as a pair ie "guess what Fucking Cordelia Bastard Face did").

Delilah - Registered Name: Calpurnia Delilah
Nicknames: Dee Dee, Delly Belly, Delly da Bell, Belly, Incontinentia.

Xena - Fullname: Xena Warrior Poodle
Nicknmes: Xeen, Xeeny, X Factor, Goober, Goobs, Pussycat dog.

Elvira - Fullname: Elvira Poodle of Darkness
Nicknames: LV, Bee Bee, Bee bee da bub, Bubba,

Rita - Registered Name: Calpurnia Rita Hayworth
Nicknames: Reet-reet, Rita the retard, ree-ree, Baby

Timmy - Registered Name: Calpurnia Tiny Tim
Nicknames: Timson, Mima, Mimi, Mim, Mista Tim.

Isis - Registered Name: Redsonnet Redrobin
Nicknames: I, I-woo, I-poo, I-pood, Icy woo, Icy.

Jedda - Registered Name: Yotclub Jedda at Midnight
Nicknames: Jed, Jebba, Jebediah Spingfield, Hans Sprungfeld

Max - Registered Name: Calpurnia Max Power
Nicknames: Maximus, Maxi-mouse, Maxi-moose, Aurilius Maximus, Naughtius Maximus, Max Power, Moose.

Daphne - Registered Name: Calpurnia Daphne Moon
Nicknames: Daffles, Daphne Boo, Boo, Daffleberry, Berryboo, Miss Moon, Destructo Twin.

Niles - Registered Name: Calpurnia Niles Crane
Nicknames: Smilesy Nilesy, Nilesy boy, Destructo Twin.

And I wonder why they don't come when I call them....

(They all also get their own songs, but I will discuss them in another post!)

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Party Plan Hell

About two years ago Sarah began a cycle of party plan type thingies - you know Tupperware, Undercover Wear, Lorraine Lea Linen, Giftware, Scrapbooking, Aromatherapy. I could seriously go on and on.

Well because I am a doofus with a soft spot for buying crap, I got caught up in all this, booking parties of my own and acquiring large amounts of unneccesary, overpriced, crap.

The major problem with these parties is you agree to buy more than you can reasonably afford, because the chicky says "it's ok, there's six weeks to pay". So even though I struggle from pay to pay, I agree to buy $300 worth of linen because I don't have to come up with the money for six weeks.

So of course as part of this, I had my own linen party. The money was meant to be in on the 10th of November. I had my money on the 10th of November. No one else did. I now do not have my money, and I only have about half of every one elses. I somehow have to get the order in asap, if for no other reason than I really want my new wool doona, just in time for summer.

God my life is weird.