Friday, November 27, 2009

Unavoidable Universal Laws

1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). [This is one version of Murphy's Law]
7. Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theater - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Tuesday, November 24, 2009



Honest Monopoly

Click to enbiggen.

Rice and chopsticks


Oxygen is more important


Go Grandma, go!


When all else fails....


Kitty is watching


All sensible women rejoice

Pic via.

Saw Parenting

Love it.

Dad and his metaphors


Cat Translator

Love it.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Neck exercise


Hunting trophy

"New trophy room conversation piece to illustrate the high points of your best adventure story".

Don't be like that


Surely I come quickly


Fran Bailey: Asleep on the job

This is actually my local member of parliament. She is such a genius that she thought that the effect of global warming on the Great Barrier Reef could be fixed by putting some sails up to shield it from the sun. It's 2600 kilometers (1600 miles) long. Genius. Here she is asleep at the NATO conference in Edinburgh. I'm so proud.

Herman's new shell

Pic via

Not a morning person

I personally believe that mornings should be declared illegal.

Mafia Farmville Wars

I am such a Facebook game addict. Where do I sign up for this one?

Dear Twihards: Lets clear this up.

Got it yet?

Check my balance

Evil. But funny.

A friend with weed....

Tee hee.

Optimistic. Pessimistic. Realistic.


Bump it.


Growing up.

Oh good. I have 15 more years to go.