Saturday, April 24, 2010

Anxiety girl!

I have found my super hero!

The F1 Button

Clever.

When the Zombies come....

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From

Fuck this shit....

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Oompa Loompa Advice

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Ye Olde Sex Palour Price List

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"Mrs F.A. Tasse, having opened (? Maybe Capaci) Capsulation Parlors at Twenty-second Street requests the patronage of the fast, slow and smart set.
The following are a few specialities:
French fashion, with finger in Ass-hole $3.50.
Common old-fashioned fuck $2.50.
Diddling on the edge of the bed, with one foot on the floor $2.00.
Fucking the breast, with tits tight $1.??
Blowing in the ass hole, new style $1.70.
Finger fucking, with juice $0.50.
Dog fashion $2.80.
Dry bob $0.40.
Sitting on prick, shoving in stones and all $2.50.
One female suckoff, stones in mouth. $2.50.
One fuck, ten minutes ?soak $2.65.
PINKEY'S SPECIAL - Under-fucking woman on top, tits in your face, with extra lady to play with your balls while blowing wind up your ass hole with a goose quill. $30.00
Watching a fuck match, woman to jerk you off $ 0.75
Squatting on prick $0.65.
Your prick sucked while sucking a woman's cunt $6.00
Maid to rub your tool, hard-on guaranteed $0.75
Free back scuttling while woman rubs your nuts with a feather; must stay out of poop-hole $3.00
Ass-hole fucking for men over 45 $1.00.
Bob cocks and flat pricks, extra $0.50.
No discount for cash. Stink fingers and jerk-off matinees for men under 21, every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with cash in one hand and tool in the other. If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off."

Wow, there is so much to say here.
Firstly - it was so cheap!
Mrs "FA Tasse" is too perfect - must be a psuedonym.
What is a stink finger? Do they just get to sniff a finger? I love how specific the "Pinkey's Special" is so specific - you get wind blown up your ass with a goose quill. Not a duck quill. Not a plain old straw. Goose quill all the way.
So what happens if you pay your 50 cents for "Finger fucking, with juice" and there is no juice. Do you get a refund?
What is with the stones? Is there a whole section of sex that I have been missing out on?
They have been using the word "ass-hole", and then at the end switch to "poop-hole". Did they all of a sudden feel the need to be a little more demure?
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Why "Arrested Development" was cancelled

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How to name a volcano

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Little weeds

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We'll always have Paris.

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Brilliant. I lol'ed.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Breakfast Club question

I can picture Molly Ringwald's look of disgust just after he says this. Such a good movie.

Amazing makeover

I think she looks much better.

Sorry bout that

I love the look on the dog's face - it's a mix of "sorry" and "I want to eat you".

A heady combination

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

Smurfs

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Let's run away together

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Canned Pussy

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If cats could talk

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Cones

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Not creepy trapped.

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Zombie Stationery

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I want some. Badly.
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On the first day....

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Done

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If God made everything....

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Pricing issues

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred dollars. Any questions, I'll be parked around the corner."

She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?"

She says, "A hundred dollars."

He says, "All I got is thirty".

She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?"

"A hand job," Harry replied.

She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty bucks is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE length. She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back."

She runs back to Harry. 'What's wrong?' he asks,

"Any chance you could lend this guy seventy bucks?"
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Bring out the... wait, what?!?!

Very clever.
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Your little breakdown.

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Faster Sudoku Solutions

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Answer me Jesus

I wonder what the other messages are:
"Sorry, I can't answer that, I'm not real"
"You're going straight to hell, which doesn't actually exist, so it's all good".
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Prescription

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Helpful

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Appeasing the volcano

I'll help. Please let me help.
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Islamic Understanding

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Jill: The best girlfriend

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Things change....

Which is why I need a remote with at least "rewind" and "pause".
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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Ouch.

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Robert Cop

It never occurred to me that "Robo" was just a nickname. Although "Robert" does seem a little formal.

Bottomless Bottom

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I just love the look on the offender's face.

Excellent Ad Placement

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Best dog sitting ever

Good boy!

I told you so.

Damn Icelandic drama queens. I blame Bjork.

Paranoia

From

Pull my finger

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Normal people

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Just one off hand remark....

I posted a pic yesterday of the Icelandic volcano, and mentioned how I thought "asdfasdfasdf" would be easier to pronounce, and then look what Lockwood did!

Brilliant!

Amazing 3D Pencil Drawings


Very cool. Makes me wish I was more artistic.
See more here.
(Thanks Stephen).

Monday, April 19, 2010

Not meeting the quota

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The whole family loves Snoopy

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Just one more pencil...
LOVE. IT.

Eyjafjallajokull Volcano

Very cool photo. Don't know how real it is, but awesome none the less.
And as for the name of the volcano, I feel a bit like I could have just typed asdfasdfasdf and it would be just as easy to pronounce.

Most awesome lawn mower ever.

It's like a hover-mower. Love the joystick - the whole look is very George Jetson. And you can run errands in it? Double awesome.