Saturday, January 29, 2011

DaVinci's Homer

Via email (Thanks Lia!!)

Fuck the pole ice


Seal of approval

We went on a seal and dolphin sight-seeing tour the other day.  I have never smelled anything like the seals.  It was atrocious.  They should really look into some perfume, or maybe essential oils in their shampoo.
Pics from our little tour are here.

Dear Neighbour....

Savage Chickens

Wanna Buck?


Amazing really

Comic Blasphemy

Units of power

*Cat must be in good mood.
Fake Science

Food and bitches


Vet oops


The best part of my job.....

Some Ecards

New Facebook Actions

The "Stab" button really should be introduced.  That would be most helpful.

Baby it's cold outside....

There is a huntsman spider roaming around the house at the moment, and last night he was actually wondering around the loungeroom floor, probably hunting.  I dreamt he was following me.  I am usually not too scared, but I find it hard to deal with them when they are moving around - pick a spot, on the ceiling somewhere and stay there. 
This is him:
(More pics here)

Air Guitar

Awesome - I especially love the components - Nitrogen, Oxygen, Carbon Dioxide and Dreams.



Knock knock...


10 Canine Commandments

Beautiful, and good rules to live by for all doggy people.



Familiar face


Not just your flesh....


There he is!

Very clever.

Class of 1957 Vs. Class of 2011

Class of 1957 vs. 2011

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2011 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2011 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2011 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The family gets extra money (SSI) from the government because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2011 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school..

1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock

2011 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2011 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1957 - Ants die.

2011 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2011 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Nudge nudge, wink wink


Good news

Married to the Sea

Darth Lampshade


Love is love is love.

It is quite an easy concept really....

The results of bullying




Discharge instructions

Geez, no need to shout....

Painful testicles

No wonder they're painful if they look like that....

Glorious Pug is Glorious


I did not hit you...


Blue Waffle

DO NOT DO IT.  You have been warned.

Whale Blowjob - once it has been seen....

This is the Australian five dollar note.  I may never look at them the same again....

Thursday, January 27, 2011