Sober in a Nightclub

Friday, August 06, 2010

Thursday, August 05, 2010

• "Buy some furniture or admit that you're empty inside."
• "When an American schoolgirl has two drinks by ten a.m. it's a pretty good bet the plan is to have a lot more, and it probably wasn't the first time she had that plan."
• "Inspiration point doesn't open 'til dark."
• "You got to the point where half your age plus seven just wasn't young enough anymore?"
• "At least he has the young and stupid excuse."
• "You think Odysseus would want to lie whimpering like a loser in a hospital bed?"
• "We're better off alone. We suffer alone, we die alone. Doesn't matter if you were a model husband or father of the year."
Taub: "Not exactly sanitary."
• House: "Fun stuff never is."
• "Is that the statutory period for soul sucking?"
• "He's just trying to get into your skirts. And I don't mean metaphorically."
• "Stop before you interest me to death."
• "Gotta see if our patient's a unicorn or just a slutty horse."
• "Must be interesting, growing up in a production of Oh Calcutta."
• "The world's your freaky oyster and you opt for another long-term relationship? That's just stupid."
• "You're the moron who took marital advice from Tila Tequila."
• "Think there's a chance the husband's a Plushie?"
Cuddy: "Do you read any of your departmental memos?"
• House: "Only the ones labeled NSFW."

• "He's wearing cologne, but not the stink of shame."
• "What's with the lack of afterglow? Psycho girl not as freaky as you hoped?"
• "You're compensating for your loss of professional conquests with sexual ones."
• "There's a better way to call off a wedding. A tweet, for example."
• "Doesn't mean you're gay just because the guy you're sleeping with is."
• "Sodomy - one of the top ten most common household accidents."
• "If history is written by the victor, how do we find out what really happened?"
• "Given your usual rate of commitment, we're lucky you're not already re-divorced."
• "Her old friend, the fried carbohydrate."
• "Everyone wants their stuff. That's why it's their stuff."
• "I cared for eight seconds. Then I got distracted.'"
• "People who kick when you're down are jerks, but generally not irrational jerks."
• "Make a decision. If you're gonna be an ass. Stick with it."
• "People's brains stop working when they think they're losing someone they love."
• "If you're going to invest everything I haven't mentioned with unnatural significance, let's include drawstring pants and the Peloponnesian War."
• "That a pill in your pocket or are you just happy to have a tiny pill shaped penis?"
• "That much caffeine for a coffee virgin?"