Can you solve the first one?

Via

The circle of no life

But that looks just like my life..... Oh right.
Via

A fight I want to see

My money is on Wednesday.
From

Sorry I left the dishes.....

I wonder how she feels about that?!
Via

Poo pen

But why?
I actually love the look on the guy's face in the first illustration - "eek fake poo!".
Via

I think he wants the peanut

So cute!
Via

House for sale

Pic via.

Today's word: Hear

From

What time is it?

Via

Man of the house

From

Titanic 2: Jack is back

A sequel I would go and see!
Via

Goatse Kermit

What do you expect from a frog who only comes alive when being fisted?
Via

Real man

From

Have you been touched?

Ha!
Via

Free Blow Up Doll

Which places are more worn? And where do you get blow up dolls serviced?
Excellent.
Via

Chicks with guns

Via

Eeeeewwww.......

Via

Whole Human Beings

But what about the partial humans?
From

Mmmmm.... Yum!

Pic via.

The Amazing Flying Monkey

"Hear me scream!"
What an appealing slogan! Doesn't everyone love hearing animals scream?
Via