Friday, February 15, 2008

From The Daily Show Newsletter:

HYBRIDIZATION IN THE UKAfter a lengthy debate among members of the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), Britain's fertility regulator said Thursday it would allow scientists to create human-animal hybrid embryos for research. While the decision does provoke obvious ethical questions, scientists considered it less controversial than the suggested alternative of stealing embryos from werewolves. Researchers want to produce hybrids that are 99.9 percent human and 0.1 percent animal, which coincidentally, was what fellow Statistics club members called me back at Black Horse Pike Regional high school. Just be thankful Vis-à-vis pens weren't around back then, or I could have done some serious damage. John Smeaton, national director of the Society of the Protection of Unborn Children, said the decision was creating "sub-human" slaves, and was a "disastrous setback for human dignity." Though Smeaton did have to admit that it was "an incredible boost for animal dignity." He added, "I mean, with all the shit eating and running around naked, they haven't really had any dignity until now. Except maybe lions."


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