Friday, October 17, 2008

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways....

1. The cult. It was made up by a science fiction author who had a thing for LSD. How fucking dumb are you?
2. The arranged marriages. Nicole may have no expression left on her face, but that doesn't mean I will ever forgive you. And poor stepford Katie - will someone PLEASE get her out and de-programmed. The whole world KNOWS that you are gay, just be a man and say it.
3. Bad movies - name one movie in the last decade that was even remotely decent - War of the Worlds, Lions for Lambs, wastes of everyone's time and money. Can't even remember any of the others (I'm sure there were some). The last time I paid money to see a Tom Cruise movie was Jerry Maguire. I don't plan on ever doing it again.
4. The jumping on the couch thing. You should really get some Lithium for your mania. Oh hang on, scientologists don't believe in psychiatry. That's convenient.
5. That smug ass smile. It isn't cute anymore. It doesn't make you look like a nice guy. It makes you look nuts. It's scary. Creepy even. Stop it. Now. Really.
To summise: Over paid, under talented, alien worshipping, closeted, delusional midget.

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