Interesting Sandals

So the sandals are non-constipating you say? So does that mean they should be used as laxatives? Or are they preventative? And how should I administer them? Rectally?
Also, you say I can have 2 sandals for one dollar? Is that two sandals or two pairs? If I only have 50 cents, can I just have one. Is one sandal still non-constipating? Can you please bend over and demonstrate this for me. Right now.
ALSO, you say there is a limit of two. Is that per customer, per dollar or per episode of constipation?
OK, I'll stop now.
Via