Saturday, April 24, 2010

Ye Olde Sex Palour Price List

Click to embiggen.
"Mrs F.A. Tasse, having opened (? Maybe Capaci) Capsulation Parlors at Twenty-second Street requests the patronage of the fast, slow and smart set.
The following are a few specialities:
French fashion, with finger in Ass-hole $3.50.
Common old-fashioned fuck $2.50.
Diddling on the edge of the bed, with one foot on the floor $2.00.
Fucking the breast, with tits tight $1.??
Blowing in the ass hole, new style $1.70.
Finger fucking, with juice $0.50.
Dog fashion $2.80.
Dry bob $0.40.
Sitting on prick, shoving in stones and all $2.50.
One female suckoff, stones in mouth. $2.50.
One fuck, ten minutes ?soak $2.65.
PINKEY'S SPECIAL - Under-fucking woman on top, tits in your face, with extra lady to play with your balls while blowing wind up your ass hole with a goose quill. $30.00
Watching a fuck match, woman to jerk you off $ 0.75
Squatting on prick $0.65.
Your prick sucked while sucking a woman's cunt $6.00
Maid to rub your tool, hard-on guaranteed $0.75
Free back scuttling while woman rubs your nuts with a feather; must stay out of poop-hole $3.00
Ass-hole fucking for men over 45 $1.00.
Bob cocks and flat pricks, extra $0.50.
No discount for cash. Stink fingers and jerk-off matinees for men under 21, every Wednesday from 2:30 to 4. Customers must enter with cash in one hand and tool in the other. If you are not a self-starter, stay at home and jack yourself off."

Wow, there is so much to say here.
Firstly - it was so cheap!
Mrs "FA Tasse" is too perfect - must be a psuedonym.
What is a stink finger? Do they just get to sniff a finger? I love how specific the "Pinkey's Special" is so specific - you get wind blown up your ass with a goose quill. Not a duck quill. Not a plain old straw. Goose quill all the way.
So what happens if you pay your 50 cents for "Finger fucking, with juice" and there is no juice. Do you get a refund?
What is with the stones? Is there a whole section of sex that I have been missing out on?
They have been using the word "ass-hole", and then at the end switch to "poop-hole". Did they all of a sudden feel the need to be a little more demure?


Shaylor said...

Stones are referring to balls.
It would be a feat of looseness to get balls and all in,

Misslyds said...

Yeah, I sort of suspected that, it just seemed like a fine effort!

HoaiPhai said...

This is fake. The text is proportionally-spaced, impossible with a typewriter and any commercial printing method of the time that could do it would have been hugely expensive, and the printer probably would have been a newspaper, way too busy and respectable to produce flyers for a cat-house. The blobs of ink on the page would have smudged if they got there during printing or if they fell on the pages at the cat-house from a fountain pen, they would have leeched into the paper over the years.

I think the stones references refer to a BJ while the girl has marbles in her mouth. The language used in the menu is overall too contemporary, except for some made-up "old speak" thrown in.