Have you ever wondered.....

What you would look like if you were on Southpark? No me either, but this website lets you find out anyway!

I think I like my South Park me more than the real one!

Mel Gibson, Halloween's Scariest Monster

This is Gallery of the Absurd's take on the scariest tabloid monster of the year.

Check it out here.

Amy and Emma's Birthday Sensation

Well Saturday night was my cousins' Amy and Emma's birthday party. Much fun and merriment was had by most. One of the best parts of the night was that most of the Marks cousins were there - only Rhys, who is only 5, wasn't there. Here is some picture evidence:

A strip of pics as designed by Patrick.

A bigger version of the top pic. L to R it is Patrick, Greta, Emma (FEMBOTanist), Amy (A. Lew) and Me. The theme was "fake tan" - as you can see Greta, Patrick and I didn't go in theme!!

Our "emo" pic.
How I felt yesterday.

Rohan, aged 5 months

Here are some pics of my gorgeous "nephew" Rohan.
Sarah, Rohan and I spent the very sunny afternoon down by the Yarra river, sitting in the shade.




Isn't he divine!

Filthy One Legged Whore

It's been all over the news for the last couple of months - Paul McCartney finally came to his senses and decided to divorce the Filthy One Legged Whore (FOLW). Now the FOLW is claiming that he was violent and aggressive, not only to her but also to his first wife Linda. She supposedly taped conversations and bugged his house, but all that has been reported is that you can hear her trying to bait him with comments like "you know you need to get help for your aggression" with no actual evidence of said aggression.
This woman is such a gold digger and the whole world saw it, except poor Paul. Part of his problem was that he had been in a happy marrige for almost all of his adult life, and men whose wives die after a happy marriage, typically will marry the first thing they see, as they want to recreate that happiness.
Paul and Linda were famously happy and in love - they made a policy of never spending time apart. Linda was such a strong woman, I cannot believe that if she was being abused she would not have done something about it.
These claims just make the FOLW look even more evil. She has supposedly said that if he doesn't give her half his money, she will make his life hell.
I also hope he gets custody of Bea - at least he actually seems to care for and love her, unlike her mother who leaves her with the nanny.
Slam dunk the bitch in court Paul - we're all behind you.

"See that door there? Use it"

Take Away Horror

I should know better.
I have been craving chicken souvlakis for a little while now and I had one on Monday from a shop in Croydon which was really nice.
I must have then had a brain melt, because I decided today that I would like another one. Now I live in a semi-rural area, so the take away choices at lunch time are fish and chip shops or cafes only. I should have known to not order anything "exotic", but like I said, I must have had a brain melt.
So I went to a local shopping area, to go to the large supermarket there, and thought I would get a chicken souvlaki as well. Apparently though, what I asked for was a chicken souv-burger. It looked like a chicken souvlaki, smelt like a chicken souvlaki, but by God it didn't taste like one - the onion was fried rather than raw, which changed the taste towards a burger, and there was CHEESE - yes grated tasty cheese - in the garlic sauce. I kept expecting to find a fried egg and beetroot with my next bite.
Freaks.

Most Absurd Fight Scene EVER

This is a scene from a very classy 80s movie called "Undefeatble". It's hard to put into words just how bad this clip is - bad hair, bad clothes, bad effects, bad acting, bad editing, bad directing. It's freekin' brilliant!

Tickle Me Harder

This is the best celebrity sex tape I have seen today.

Just in case you weren't sure.

Britney: When White Trash Finds Fame and Fortune

That should really be the name of her biography.

See more here.

Milton The Monster

It's funny how things enter your psyche. This is an episode of The Milton the Monster Show which was only made from 1965-1967. The part which has never left my brain is the song they sing while making Milton: "six drops of Essence of Terror, five drops of Sinister Sauce....". I still sing this song when I am cooking from a recipe.

I have been trying to explain to people for years where I got the song from. Well people THIS is where I got the song from:

The Dougs

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Youtube freekin' rocks!

Yet another one of my guilty pleasures - The Doug Anthony All Stars perform on The Big Gig in the early 1990s. It's a great example of their crass humour, plus fantastic singing.

I still want to be in a Tim and Paul sandwich.

As the mermaid said in DAAS Kapital: Paul's the one you wanna fuck; Tim's the one you think of while fucking Paul; but Richard is the one you would marry.

*sigh*

Sometimes I forget....

I don't really have much self confidence, but there a few things I am REALLY good at. One of them is singing. And sometimes even I forget that I have a great voice and I should practice and keep singing as much as possible. I have reminded recently because Vega added "Stop" by Sam Brown to their playlist. Fantastic song to sing, and I do it well.
I really owe Lynne for being able to recognise my singing. She encouraged me to join a community choir, which I really enjoyed. Being in the choir taught me that I can sing, and that I was actually quite good.
So I am outing myself and making a public pledge: I can sing. I have a really good voice, but I find it too intimidating to sing in public. Mum didn't even know I could sing until about 3 years ago, because I wouldn't even sing in front of her. Now I solemnly pledge to keep practising my singing and I pledge to sing in public. Soon.

Numa Numa Man

I was informed today that this is where the Asian Backstreet Boys got their idea. Apparently this guy was just singing along to the song, not realising his camera was on.

Bless.

Best... Birthday... Present.... EVER.....

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me.....
Well mum has given me the best birthday present ever - a genuine example of Engrish! Engrish is one of my favourite things and she has outdone herself.
This is a nylon housewife apron, but they haven't called it an apron - they have called it "close relations between family members" and the blurb on the back reads :"Shuyading makes you clean beautiful and more fashionale." I wonder if they mean "clean, beautiful" or "clean beautifully". Doesn't matter, I love it anyway!
And I have ALWAYS wanted to be fashionale!

Music that gives you a buzz

I found this on the internet today. It seems you attach it to your iPod, then insert it and buzz to the music, literally.
So the next time you see someone on the train REALLY into their iPod, you'll know why.

Naughty, naughty me....

Gee, can you tell by the fact that this is the fifth post today that I am home alone, bored, should be studying or doing housework and have had too much coffee? Nah I didn't think so!

The world's most handsome man

Youtube really does have everything.


There's no aphrodisiac like YOU Timmy...... *sigh*

Persian Backstreet Boys

They didn't come up with the idea (see previous post) but I like their interpretation - although the dude in the background freaks me a little.

Asian Backstreet Boys

Youtube Freekin' rocks.