Tickle Me Harder

This is the best celebrity sex tape I have seen today.

Just in case you weren't sure.

Britney: When White Trash Finds Fame and Fortune

That should really be the name of her biography.

See more here.

Milton The Monster

It's funny how things enter your psyche. This is an episode of The Milton the Monster Show which was only made from 1965-1967. The part which has never left my brain is the song they sing while making Milton: "six drops of Essence of Terror, five drops of Sinister Sauce....". I still sing this song when I am cooking from a recipe.

I have been trying to explain to people for years where I got the song from. Well people THIS is where I got the song from:

The Dougs

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Youtube freekin' rocks!

Yet another one of my guilty pleasures - The Doug Anthony All Stars perform on The Big Gig in the early 1990s. It's a great example of their crass humour, plus fantastic singing.

I still want to be in a Tim and Paul sandwich.

As the mermaid said in DAAS Kapital: Paul's the one you wanna fuck; Tim's the one you think of while fucking Paul; but Richard is the one you would marry.

*sigh*

Sometimes I forget....

I don't really have much self confidence, but there a few things I am REALLY good at. One of them is singing. And sometimes even I forget that I have a great voice and I should practice and keep singing as much as possible. I have reminded recently because Vega added "Stop" by Sam Brown to their playlist. Fantastic song to sing, and I do it well.
I really owe Lynne for being able to recognise my singing. She encouraged me to join a community choir, which I really enjoyed. Being in the choir taught me that I can sing, and that I was actually quite good.
So I am outing myself and making a public pledge: I can sing. I have a really good voice, but I find it too intimidating to sing in public. Mum didn't even know I could sing until about 3 years ago, because I wouldn't even sing in front of her. Now I solemnly pledge to keep practising my singing and I pledge to sing in public. Soon.

Numa Numa Man

I was informed today that this is where the Asian Backstreet Boys got their idea. Apparently this guy was just singing along to the song, not realising his camera was on.

Bless.

Best... Birthday... Present.... EVER.....

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me.....
Well mum has given me the best birthday present ever - a genuine example of Engrish! Engrish is one of my favourite things and she has outdone herself.
This is a nylon housewife apron, but they haven't called it an apron - they have called it "close relations between family members" and the blurb on the back reads :"Shuyading makes you clean beautiful and more fashionale." I wonder if they mean "clean, beautiful" or "clean beautifully". Doesn't matter, I love it anyway!
And I have ALWAYS wanted to be fashionale!

Music that gives you a buzz

I found this on the internet today. It seems you attach it to your iPod, then insert it and buzz to the music, literally.
So the next time you see someone on the train REALLY into their iPod, you'll know why.

Naughty, naughty me....

Gee, can you tell by the fact that this is the fifth post today that I am home alone, bored, should be studying or doing housework and have had too much coffee? Nah I didn't think so!

The world's most handsome man

Youtube really does have everything.


There's no aphrodisiac like YOU Timmy...... *sigh*

Persian Backstreet Boys

They didn't come up with the idea (see previous post) but I like their interpretation - although the dude in the background freaks me a little.

Asian Backstreet Boys

Youtube Freekin' rocks.

Dodgy Hair Extensions

So hair extensions have been the chiz for a few years now - Victoria Beckham, among others, uses them to try and hide her skeletor collar bones.
Jessica Simpson, who I actually quite like, has recently brought out her own range of extensions with her hair dude Ken Paves. Now these are US$500 a pop, so I would expect quality.
Now in my understanding of like selling a product or something, the best way to sell it is to make it look good. Makes sense. My understanding of hair extensions is that they should look like natural hair - the average dumbass should not be able to tell that you are wearing extensions.
Well right now I am sitting watching Jay Leno and Jess is a guest. Her natural hair is in a bob right now, so she is clearly wearing extensions on the show.

Sadly, you can tell that she is wearing extensions - you can see the point where her natural hair stops, it's really obvious as her natural hair has body and movement and is a lighter blonde. The extensions look like Barbie would reject them. They look like a limp nylon wig that has just been pulled out of an overpriced showbag.
Not good advertising Jess!

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

I don't know if I have told you all yet, but I found a new religion a while ago.
Known as Pastafarianism, it has moved me greatly.
I too have been touched by his noodly appendage.


(It started as an open letter to the Kansas School Board after they decided that teaching evolutionary theory was against the law. For all your noodly information click here.)

Why do I do it to myself?

I only work at my weekday job for 12 hours a week. Two six hour days. Nothing really.
I get on fabulously with approximately 50% of my colleagues; I get on ok with approximately 25%; and I BARELY tolerate 25%.
Now this is probably the same ratio you would get anywhere, in any job. But this job involves 7 people, 8 including myself, so the interactions with the people I tolerate are more frequent than I would like.
In my previous blog I referred to one particular colleague as "X", which I will continue in this blog as it gives her some anonymity, but most people will know who I am talking about.
So today is the planning day for our team - I am in the office on my own while they all sit in the next room planning what needs to be done for 2007. (Rest assurred that I would rather be here writing this than in there bored shitless). X is running a training session on Tuesday and asked me to ring Subway and book the catering. I did all this and then I get the "Oh, you don't work Tuesday's do you" followed by a pathetic look. Knowing that she was wanting me to volunteer to fuck up my life just for her, I just said "No, I don't" and walked away. She then tried the "Oh but I don't know where it is" despite an address and clear directions. Regardless of how hard she tries, I am not splitting my days off just because she is a princess.
And then of course I am on the phone to mum, just launching into bitching about X and she walks into the room and I can tell that she heard me. Here come the repercussions.
God I'm a doofus.

Harvey Birdman

This is a classic clip from Harvey Birdman - one of my guilty pleasures.
This is the employee orientation video. Enjoy!

Parasite Doll

Bless!

Read all about it here.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

I am slack and don't go to as many movies as I used to. I used to see several movies a week - I would have seen everything that was on at the cinema, sometimes several times. But alas I don't do that anymore, and I only end up seeing a movie when I am out on a date or catching up with a friend.
So Saturday night I saw "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" which is a Nascar based comedy starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. The key to movies like this is to go in expecting to see silliness. It was very silly and generally met all expectations - Will Ferrell is so willing to make an ass of himself on a regular basis, and he does it so well. In Talladega Nights he runs around in his off-white jocks, a racing helmet and white socks in a scene almost as funny as the nude scene in Old School.
John C Reilly is, as usual, fantastic as the loser best friend. John C Reilly rocks!
A surprising thing for me was just how funny Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G) was as the bad guy - a gay French Nascar driver!!. I don't find Ali G funny at all - I don't mind some of his other stuff, but Ali G just shits me - yet he was great as an arrogant gay Nascar guy! Andy Richter (who used to be Conan's off-sider) plays his husband, a world renowned German Sheperd trainer who gets the dogs to do cheerleading pyramids.
The only really criticism of the movie I had was the editing/directing was a little hap-hazard. Sometimes it felt like it was chopping and changing, and not in an independent film edgy sort of way, but in a we let the work experience kid do the editing kind of way.
So there we go, my movie reviews will enthrall you all - stay tuned for the next one in about three months time!!

Time to start anew.....

Well, I have decided to move my blogging escapades to blogspot, so I too can be considered cool.
As I have moved to a new site, I am going to start with some resolutions:

1. I promise to update this blog, as well as my crime blog killingtimeinoz.blogspot.com, a minimum of three times per week each.
2. I promise that at least one of said entries will be mildly amusing.
3. I promise to not bitch too much.

I'm sure I won't stick to them, but lets see how I go.

Onward and upward.